Tangents With Toby
Tangents With Toby

Episode · 9 months ago

Grandpa is going crazy

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Story time is making a return as a new episode is here.

I tell you the origin of grandpa and dive deep into a bunch of stories with him. Crazy and normal with a little bit of horniness. Knowing where he came from will explain a lot when it comes to hoyman and myself.

Grandpa's truck  

Dustin's truck  

Oh, welcome everybody, brand new episode. Tangents, toby, that's me. I do have to say one thing, two things actually, before you get into the show. One, my van is sitting at four hundred fifty, one thousand, six hundred and twenty one kilometers. It's pretty damn good. Second, Ford Broncos. Oh my God, are they sexy as hell. HMM, Black Cherry, red or like the Dark Cherry? Oh all right, so that today's episode. It's going to be a story time. I figure it's been a while since I did one. In the last couple episodes he didn't fare too well with the audience. So today it's no Hoyman, no Dale, no Ernie, nothing like that. Today we're can talk about CRAMPA in the definition of GRANDPA. Get it out of your head because it's not even close to what you're thinking. All right. So Whyman? And I have a firm, or had a friend. His name was James and we'd call him GRANDPA. One of the reasons is because he was quiet when he drove his truck. You know, he never went all Berserk and did whatever. He was just a younger, quieter just almost like a version of meat, but a lot more smarter, a lot more shorter and, God damn it, and a lot more money. All right, that's the best way I would describe it. He had so many toys his truck it was like a GMC. Who was the last year that they did the Chevy step box? That's what it is, step up step box. I don't know where it was an actual like you can tell the body, the steps, everything like it was the classic. It was jacked up, pipes, tires. When he drove that truck he put it like he did forty kilometers an hour everywhere he went on in town, when he was on the highway, it was like hundred, like he drove like Grandpa, but when he got up and going on his Scadoo or Moatorbike way, Geef for an attitude everything, he was balls to the wall. A hundred miles an hour on a short little strip. Let's crack it open, let's get the RPM. I like eat grand type, a kind of guy when he's drinking. He sat in his corner and his beer didn't do anything. Seen a hot girl in front of him, turns beat red. Did absolutely nothing. Grampa any so I got a few stories about him. He's one of those characters that you absolutely never understood, but once you understood them you loved his personnel. It was just absolutely insanely it was. He was a great friend to have. Then with Hooman, and I call him grant, but he just got...

...a kick out of it. They'll be time for it'll be drinking. When looks over as he's off in the corner with his beard and he goes grand but conuts. So James. He puts his hand out like he has his hand on the girl's backside and just starts pretending to slap at ED. He's just going he gets to the point where snock comes out of his nose because he's getting into it like it was one of the most hilarious things. Appointment. I just started to laugh because like kill yeah, go GRANDPA Geller, get her gear and Grandpa just it was just it was a great like never a dull day. The one night grap had a party, appointment, I works, you know, party or we're at his house playing video games. Somebody comes over and goes, are you going to James House? Why? He's having a huge party. Oh, let's go pop in. So we go in. This place is packed. It's like James, what are you doing? Oh, we're moving in a month. What? Oh, yeah, we're moved into a totally different place. So we're just having a party. Okay. So we stayed around till about maybe one o'clock. We go back to Ointen's house, play about another hour video games. I go home, Winn goes to bed. I go to work next day and come back over to the ointment's house playing video games again. GRANDPA comes over. It's like, so, GRANDPA, how is a party? I woke up to a broken coffee tip. What? My Dad's going to kill me. Coffee tables broken. What do you mean? Is Broken like a broken book? Yeah, the classes shattered. It's like, okay, that's nothing. That and was broken half. That just makes sense. So he basically explained when he went to bed everything was fine. He woke up, walked in the living room and just basically sum it up what it looked like. It looked like a wwe table with somebody of the power bop through it and James Hess there was no blood anything anywhere. He had no marks on evil. Lift up the back of the shirt, front of shirt, everything, everything look normal on him. So I don't know if he ever found out and as far as I know, as today stands, he doesn't know what happened, and maybe that was the best knowledge of not actually knowing. I don't know. I just it was kind of funny just knowing. He came over just absolutely shocked beyond Shaw because his table was broken. He doesn't know how. In the early two thousands, my hometown had like two blizzards in a week, and I don't mean these little puny things that people are saying, oh, it's a lizard, I mean it's colder than twenty, visibility was less than a kilometer, the winds were higher than sixty kilometers and out like it was classified as an actual blizzard. And it was like back to back one week. Like it wasn't massive. So the first time I was told go...

...out, you'll have a couple days off, which reality I wasn't complaining. I was going to be enjoying, for example. So GRANDPA's like, what are you doing? Man, nothing really, just vegging out doing my thing. You'll see. Want to go out for by far, and we got Dustin and a bunch of other guys to yeah, sure ship. This blizzard was so huge. GRANDPA and Dustin's truck. We're basically the same year, except Dustin's was regular box and a little bit more aggressive times. That's the basically the only difference between these two tracks. So what we're have and fun. We're going going through a plow and finding big snow banks and it was still somewhat fluff, somewhat hard, like was in between. We had to the very north part of town and that was always a bad spot. Like this city would consider that to be a no go zone. When any kind of start blows in. They know that it got so bad they would shut that Rope Dam and the day actually did. We drove around the closed street sign and we're going through, going through the snow banks. They were getting high, like their one two feet tall. We're plowing through a bounce around. Got to the point where it got really, really bad, so we had it back all Ho way up like a block and reverse, both Dustin and GRANDPA backing up what the other way, exact same thing. Got to the point where we can go and farther, turn around, go back the other way and we're bummed through town, going through all these little spots out at the old mental hospital. One of the things way were was famous for. There was this one path we were luging coming in home, thinking to meet. Go through there dust. It's like, I'm not going through. I go through. I'm stuck. James, you go through your stock. So we turn and looked at this little chevy blazing like the kid who had it like spray cand that's how you know, like cheaper whatever. It wasn't the best machine. They looked at him and goes, Hey, you know something, it was what you you go. It's what I'm no, I don't want to go and get stuck. Can your little blazer pull out, James? Or if we got stuck, oh no, you're like twice size of me exactly, and if you get stuck then you're going to have jeames myself be able to pull you out and if one of us get stuck, the other one can pull us. Oh. So he was humming in a haunt and everybody's like go, go, go, go, go. So you finally did decide, yeah, screw it, I'll do it. WHOA. Nobody was actually expecting that he would go as far as he would. James got as far as he could go. pull him out. Then we...

...had to get out, dig a little bit just kind of get James lunched a little bit forward so the toll rope would actually fit, and that was even a tight sweeze. Got Him out, hooked up, had a little bit of issue backing up hugg Dustin up with another toll rope. Then finally got a little bit of traction start pull him out. The stupid part about it was is this kid was more worried about his five dollar spray cambomb Canadian Tire Walmart and special than anything else. Like he his vehicles going off into the deeper snow, into the trees, and he's like no, no, it's scratching my paint and everybody's yelling at him pay attention to the road, for by fourth are meant to get scratched Dustin. You could hear his pipes going because he had straight exhaust. GRANDPA's his was going straight exhaust. This guy who's instead of going in a straight line, he was sliding into the ditch. Then he was kind of friend and was getting pulled in, then he'd get pulled out, then he'd go to the other way. Then he's kids worried about the other side. It's like, Oh my God, it's lay Finchley got abouts that that's it. Never going in as late. He goes, I don't want my paint to be scratched Dustin. Go paint it, Jeezus and shut up, and we all took off. By the end of the night that kid went home. He just he was getting hounded so bad. That was a very unputpeepable height. So we did that until the like the roads, they were getting bad. There was tons of snow everywhere. But the problem with that particular night is there were starting to be so much snow that it was starting to get hard for traction and we were having pull so many people out that were like screw it, it's all worth it. So James dropped me off at this one this one place and I spent the night. Next day I woke up dug the person's car out. Finally did eventually get home and my mom's like you might want to phone work. Why. They need you what? So I phoned my supervisor at the time and it was like yeah, you're you've been calling. They said, yeah, we need you back at work. I know that you're supposed to be on three days, three days off, but we need you. Why? So I needed she basicallyses hotels packed. It's like like how packed? She goes every room one night state packed. It's like, so, what happened yesterday or today? Yeah, yes, today, were in for it, and she does it was basically three of us, the boss's wives, went into do laundry and we just work. We work like a twelve hour day. It's like God damn. And what was it? We had like almost forty two rooms. Maybe you know there's not a been more than that. There was a lot of rooms at the hotel I worked at because he had the old building in the new building. So it's like fine, I'll come in. I go in and what do you know, it was packed, like every single room. One stay, the amount of sheets that we went through, the amount of towels, everything. Basically what happened is with the storm, it was causing power outers just throughout the province and Sass power rented...

...every free single room hospital in waver to house these powerline technicians and this went on for about for days. We were putting twelve plus hours a day cleaning rooms. I'm six foot two, toilets, tubbs, beds, my knees were hurting, my back was hurting, like. It was a very tough bunch of days. It was absolutely crazy. Paytrick was nice because we put massive overtime in. By God Damn, let me tell you, it was a very, absolute insane, whoa white out pit plaine experience. That's all I can say. It was very, very interesting. This next story never took place exactly around that time frame. It was later on, but Poyman, GRANDPA and I we're out for by four and we're having fun, made up with dust a little bit later that night, cursing around, bombing through little snow banks here and there. James Looks I want to go through this back Allen and this back Allen. You had a fence on one side, you have houses on the end, it was just straight to the left you had the fair grains and at this particular spot you had the racetrack. So you're looking it's like okay, racetrack, you have a fence of snow banks which looks to be absolutely deep and hardened in fences. It's like, James, there's no way you're going to be you're gonna get stuck halfway. Yes, no, yeah, just watch. So pulls up beside dust and goes tell Wyman, we're going to be going through that Snow Bank, nots it's like you're not going through that stom. You'RE gonna get stuck, Dude. Now I'm gonna do it. That's my goal for tonight is to make it through this back out. All of a sudden here are appointment from the other side going Huh. So I go to like on my seatbelt, make sure it's Nye and stuck. Click, Click. It's like all right, let's go. So GRANDPA turns around, stops. If I going for Okun and I should be able to deal a way to fight this. Gears, are you gonna go? It looks at me and goes this, old GRANDPA, I'm gonna make it. So he drops it down into neutral, rebs it up, kind of teases everybody or I don't know what Dustin appointments off. There is me on the passenger side one we're gonna die. Get it. I get it done or get it up. So grandpa drops on the gas. All four tires of spinning. It's like, Oh uh, I hold onto the Holy Shit handle bars, everything like that. Everything that I could. We jump the first cell bank land. She has plown. gramp can't see he's laughing this most irritating evil laugh. He goes, Oh, when shell wipers would help, turns it on, smooshes all the snow away, finally seeing it. We are bombing, Bob, we're bouncing. It's hurting because I was a moving I clicked the seat belt where wills lock. Then we got stuck. CALFINE couldn't move. So dust and comes in, wlatches...

...on, pull us as, pull us out and it's like, Oh, there you to go. You had your fun. Let's go. Just know I'm gonna go do it again and I'm going to make it for I turn, looked at grafts, like the hell are you doing? I'm gonna do this. It's like no, you're not, you're gonna get stuck again. Yes, no, I have a nice path. It's like no, you know, let's yeah, I do. If you take a look the path right there, it's softer. I can get more traction and I'm gonna jump that, but you're not gonna jump it. Leo's happen, smiles and goes dog temp. So we back up. I'm like, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'M gonna die. Turns on the wipers, because I learned that from the mistake for the first Shime. So both hands on the wheel, hudge forward, looking like an old person driving. Let's do this. Hammers on the gas exhaust is just greaming. It's like, Oh my God, I thank God this is a my vehicle. And what do you know, plowed through the snow, stones flying worse than before. We hit that spot that we got stuck. We didn't jump it like GRANDPA said, but we did get a little bit, a little bit of lift momentum. Then as the truck kind of started coming down, it mustn't give that little extra weight, hit a little bit of up underneath and we just kept plowing. Who we made it through that whole entire back alley. We made it to the other side. Didn't realize we were close to the street. He seeing the street, GRANPA hit the brakes. Jeep jumped overtop of the snow edge that was at the end of the back alley that city created. Swung the back end out, slid, hit the Snow Ridge, kind of went up it and GRANDPA took off. I looked at it was like, dude, seriously, you can't kill me. People need me in this world, because are you dead? It's like, oh no, it's there's nothing to worry about. Worry about how worry about my life? You're fine. It's like yeah, okay, GRANDPA. Then we did other things that night, which sometimes a question by GRANDPA, very unique individual, I tell you that one. All right, you guys. That is it for today's episode. I'm going to have to tell you a little something, something before I go. I did have clothing line brand wind up, created, how to store on the Internet. All right, ready to go. They said that my name and my logo both violate the terms and contract or terms and conditions. So they deleted it, and when I mean deleted, I mean they delete in hit. I don't know why. He never gave me a reason and I personally don't think they'll ever do it. So I have probably one or two other ones lined up. The ones that I find that are going to be per quality worth it, then yes, I'm going to do it. Otherwise, you're going to get clothing in the near future. Not sure when, but you will. Also, if you check out my patreum on page,...

...that is gonna help out quite a bit. That part I don't really knew. On My patreon page. But whatever, just do a search on patreon. The best part about that is you if you don't want to pay for a membership, that's absolutely fine. Hit that follow button. He's what that follow button does is it allows you to follow the page. In any time that I post anything publicly, you will get an alert via email or if you have the APP on your phone, it will go straight to your APP to give you a little bit of a heads up that I post something. It's a great weight stay in touch, great way to not Miss Anything, so I recommend doing that, but it's all up to you. Tangents. Would Toby at gmailcom if you have any questions. The comments and bio dot link forwards tangents for my home page for now until I can renew my domain. But all right, I'm gonna let you guys go. Hopefully have a great, wonderful day and I will catch you next week with the brand new addition of tensions. Would Toby, please, all guys.

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